My favorite thing about auditions: pets. It's rare that you'll find one in the actual, glamorous audition room (those usually just contain a shiny camera and a few wasted souls), but lately, I haven't been to a casting studio without a tiny cat or dog tinkling it's ass around. The positive spin would be that the casting directors just want to keep things warm and casual in an arena fraught with tension and insecurity. My take (and, ahem, the cynical one) is that the dream slayers who run these studios still find portions of their life to cheap out on. Ms. Casting Wench might ponder, "You know, I don't want to keep Spanky cooped up in my Co-Op all day, but that dog-walker is so pricey and would never give Spanky the attention he deserves. And those Doggie Day Cares are total shit pits. I know! I'll keep him with the actors!"
What's worse is that all around me are people encouraging this dog/actor balance. All this cooing and baby talk and belly rubbing. Just stop it. Get in the room, show your teeth and go home. I know, dear actors, the world is bleak and furry things make life worth living, but save it for the bedroom. (ABOVE: Your next audition monitor.)
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