Please, Carry On

You've heard it a thousand times from whiners just like me. An actor walks into a room to audition. There are a few apathetic, creative people behind a table and your photo/resume is laid out in front of them. The actor introduces himself. Some of the people nod. The reader smiles. The actor pauses to begin his audition, entering that awkward zone between polite reality and authentic fiction. The actor begins the scene - an event which he has spent maybe a full week preparing. After the actor has spoken his first line (possibly in a dialect foreign to his native tongue), the reader responds with his first line. And so this verbal dance, this dialogue, whirls until all the lines are spent.

But hark! I hear other speakers. Speakers whose contribution I did not foresee. Ah, look! The casting team behind the table has decided to chat. Better ignore them and carry on with the scene. Ah, they continue to chat! One seems to be evaluating the merits of my thousand-dollar photograph. And holding it up. And rotating it. Can't they see that I’m standing not three feet in front of them, looking just past their gaze and into my imagination?

I know how to solve this: I'll furrow my brow another inch and slow my speech down. This will affect a deeper earnestness in my portrayal and indicate that, no, I am thoroughly not distracted by their blathering. Now, not only will they value my performance, but admire my rigid focus in the face of flagrant disinterest. It will be a lasagna of appreciation. This really is one golden opportunity.