I've been in London for the last couple of weeks, on the second leg of the Civilians' UK tour. Culturally, it's a grand old city with beautiful houses, cups of tea, bridges and other stuff that piques the interest of Americans. From a sociological standpoint, the people either speak like uppity garden gnomes or Winston Churchill. Now as a favor from one traveler to another, I thought I'd write up a list of some useful terms. These twenty "translations" may help when you're faced with blinding indifference from the weary citizens of the old empire. You can print this up, fold it four times, and stuff it into your wallet (in front of the photos of your illegitimate children)...
WE SAY........................THEY SAY
Bathroom.....................Loo
Subway........................Tube
Yes..............................Bangerdoodle!!!
No...............................Swishybutt!!!
Cash Register...............Till
Baby............................Jiggybit
Dollar...........................Pound
Comedy........................Fart Session
Happy...........................Snickywishing
Sad...............................Doobywishing
Dog...............................Bonnyrat
Tired.............................Skinned
Nose.............................Prince Hal's Hose
Bad...............................Brilliant
Good.............................Brilliant
Great............................Brilliant
Food.............................Drinks
Take a walk...................Smash the clubs
"Care for a smoke?"......"Can I fag you up?"
"Nice to meet you."......."Tis a pleasure we've acquainted our pale palms."
"Good Night!"................"Bubble up the tinkersnout!"
If I keep my ears open, more handy terms should follow. Have a great tinkersnout!
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