I don't do crap

...like write this blog. It's pretty typical of me, actually. I'll get an idea, like, "Oh snap, I should be the 12,000,000th person to write daily thoughts onto the internet!" So I drink three cups of coffee, go balls to the wall and set the mother-f'er up. Soon, though, I look at what I write and compare it to things I read. I cringe. I realize I'm not funny. I realize I haven't had an original thought since I was four years old and decided to drink pancake syrup out of a glass. Had I only hung on to that inspired moment of youth and not clouded it with self-doubt and booze.